What goals? That was a month ago! How to set goals and why goal setting often fails

Does this sounds familiar? You set goals, are incredibly goal oriented and ambitious, and just as you got in the rhythm towards (or maybe even before you get in the rhythm towards) those goals your momentum dies down.

First off, I want to say, this is normal! Keeping motivated, especially when the structure for a goal is not being set by someone else, is HARD.

Second off, just because it is hard does not mean it is impossible to stick to your goals. So, how does motivation work, especially in the context of goal setting for success? 

There are two types of motivation theory: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within, while extrinsic motivation arises from outside. Intrinsic motivation is when we do an activity for its inherent satisfaction while extrinsic motivation is when we participate in an activity based on the “should” and “have tos” of meeting an external goal, receiving an award, and/or from getting approval. 

It is so important to understand and ask: where is my motivation coming from?

The way we set out goals for ourself and the context of all the parts of our life is an important consideration in setting and maintaining motivation towards those goals. I will be honest with you, I don’t love traditional goal setting. I never have. When someone tells me to follow the S.M.A.R.T. goals process and work one by one through goals I have for myself, I start to get distracted and feel bored by the process. I am not suggesting SMART (smart) goals are not valuable, but what I learned over the years is that in order for me to keep my motivation alive towards my own goals, the process for creating them needs to match who I am, and my processes and approaches. So, how I use a process like smart goal setting is just as important as the process itself. 

The reason that following the traditional approach to using SMART goal setting does not work for me is because I am not traditional in my approach. What I mean by this is that I do not work in a linear way, working one by one through things and processes, at least not initially. I tend to look big picture, asking myself questions, making maps and writing ideas that I then funnel down into a more streamlined process approach like the SMART goal process. If you are someone who likes a linear approach up front, something like smart goals might be just the ticket. Similarly, if you are someone who loves lists, organizing and checking things off the list, then structuring how you check in, measure and reflect on the process might be key. 

Are you catching on here? The key to goal setting strategies and ensuring that motivation does not run low is understanding yourself. The amount of self-awareness about your own processes and needs is directly related to how to set goals and achieve them. 

Here is some information about how I approach goal setting for my year. It may or may not resonate for you and that is okay! In my opinion, what is most important about setting and keeping to your goals is that you understand your own motivation so that what you set out to do works for who you are. These questions and suggestions are not in any particular order and can be rearranged at your convenience! 

I start by journaling and asking myself reflection questions: 

What do I want to get from this coming year? 

What possibilities exist for my career and my life? 

How do I feel about where I am now? 

What is giving me the most energy? 

What support systems do I need to help me create clarity and alignment? 

What fears are holding me in my own way? 

How do I want to look back on this year? 

What values are guiding my decisions? 

This reflection process is valuable in helping me create clarity around my motivations for the year ahead. 

From this information I pick goals: 

Based on threads from my reflections I choose some smaller more achievable outcomes that are the “quick wins” and also choose one to two medium goals as well as one (sometimes two) larger longer term goal to begin to work towards. I always look back and ask myself: what directly contributed to similar goals being achieved? Then: how do I take what worked and bring it into these goals? 

For example, one medium term goal for this year is that I want to get back into better fitness routines that I let slip away in 2022. I know that previously having accountability and structure around my fitness was helpful so I will bring that into this year. I purchased a couple of passes that keeps me accountable, signed up for a regular movement course and will reach out to friends and family to join me. 

Seems so simple right? Setting and maintaining motivation towards goals is challenging so don’t be hard on yourself when you fall off the wagon… so to speak. 

If you are looking at how to set goals and achieve them and feel stuck or like you are failing to stay motivated, feel free to reach out to have a conversation. I am excited to consider the possibility of being your motivation coach!

Not familiar with SMART goals? This is an acronym that is used to set goals and achieve them. It stands for: 

S- specific 

M- measurable 

A- achievable 

R- relevant 

T- time-bound 

*you can also use this to refine your goals and ensure they are contained by a structure that makes them more realistic to accomplish